I did it!

This was it. This was the last day. It came and it went. I was busy for most of the day. Then I went to go see Weezer in downtown Toronto. As I’ve mentioned before concerts are especially hard to go to. The band Angels and Airwaves opened for Weezer. I don’t know if you’ve seen them live, but they’re so bad it makes you want to pick up a heroine addiction just to relieve yourself of their miserable sound.

I started really craving alcohol by about 7pm. I hadn’t totally decided if I was going to have a drink at the stroke of midnight. For a while, it was all that I could think about. But I managed to chill out and get through the day.

I started getting worried that I maybe I would once again forget what it’s like to have fun without drinking, because drinking is all I could think about. When I realized that, it kind of freaked me out.

Midnight came and went and I didn’t consume any alcohol, cigarettes, caffeine (except for that time in Vegas with the idiot at Starbucks) or any other illicit substances for an entire month.

I did have a few drink with a friend to celebrate once midnight rolled around. I’ll continue to reflect on the entire process as time goes on. For now I have a lot of work to do.

I’m done!

With only one more full day to go I’m kind of dreading this thing being over. As I said yesterday, there’s a lot of parties that I have to attend once this is over. I don’t really want to drink when it starts again. I’m thinking tomorrow at midnight I’m going to hide for a week or so.

I feel like I’ve just done so much good that when this is all over it’s all going to reverse itself, which would truly suck. I have to do what I can to avoid that, and I think it’s easier said than done.

It’s kind of cool that a lot of you guys have considered me to be some sort of an authority on how to do this. I’ve had plenty of phone calls and emails from different people who seems to be in the same sort of boat that I was less than two months ago, wanting change. It’s giving me an ego. I’m just kidding. It’s humbling actually cause I really haven’t done anything. That’s just the it. I haven’t done anything.

I haven’t smoked, or drank, or done a bunch of other unhealthy things. I’m not guide to self help. I just think that a lot of people don’t give themselves the benefit of the doubt. All it takes is a bit of discipline, but as you can see from my comments above, once you start, you’ll want to finish. This applies for a lot of things. If you want to quit smoking. If you want to quit drinking. If you want to get rid of some totally idiotic boyfriend who assaults you. You just stop. It’ll be hard at first, but you will get through it and you’ll feel better about yourself once you’re done.

Now that this is coming to an end, I want to start a new project that’ll help who I am and who I want to be. I don’t know what to do yet.

Any suggestions?

I have less than 48 hours left before I’m done my month of sobriety.

A lot of people have asked me the question. So are you going to get hammered on Tuesday night? At first I say, “You know me!” and let their imagination run wild, but I’m having some second thoughts. I’ve already made a few plans for things to do once midnight October first rolls around. I’m actually not too keen on them on though. There’s tonnes of things I have to do and lots of people that I have to see before I leave for the west coast. I’m sad to say I don’t really want to get hammered. I’m dreading a hangover. I’m dreading not having theenergy that I’m getting used to. I’m dreading spending the money on alcohol that I used to.

I’ve actually learned a lot of discipline of money in the last month. I’ve been pretty tight on coin since my return from Australia and between this move. I’ve been very good about the money I’ve spent this month, and that’s including a trip to Las Vegas.

Anyway, the point of this post is to let those interested know that I’m not really that keen on going back to (anything close to) my old ways. This comment is true. Thanks to the anonymous person who posted it.

I vow to party hard when I do party though. I’m still reigning champ. Got something to say about it?

Heh, I hope so.

I have never gotten as much crap for doing a month of sobriety as I did last night. It’s odd because I was with a group of my closest friends. They decided to strip me down and sandpaper my skin.

I constantly got comments like:

“Why the hell are you doing this? It’s not going to work.”
I ask you, what’s not going to work?

“If you’re going to try and clean up your act, cut out one thing at a time.”
I have a lot of things to clean up, so let me do what I want to do.

“You should quit the worst thing, and do more of the best thing.”
So, I give up cigarettes and constantly eat ecstacy?

“What’s the point?”
To clean up my act and give my body a rest.

The comments went on and on. Some were demeaning and condescending. I’ve never actually gotten so much crap from people ever before. At the same time, I did get a lot of encouragement from some people. I met a few people who took an interest to what I’m doing and why I’m doing it. I’m just appalled that half of my friends would actually knock my attitudes towards what I’m doing. Chill the ef out.

At least it’s pretty easy. My sugar consumption last night went up about 600%. I arrived at the party drinking a giant orange Gatorade Slurpee.  It was made entirely out of syrup. Well, it was strong. Then, after I finished my Slurpee, I chewed about 10 pieces of Hubba Bubba. I was blowing bubbles all night. Then I got hold of some sprite. I drank about a liter of sprite.

That kept me energetic.

When the night goes on drama unfolds, people get hammered, people get sloppy and people get rude. I don’t know what is about alcohol that gives people loose lips, but sometimes it’s really inappropriate. I understand that when people get drunk sometimes they loose control, but there’s a few things that need to be said about that. First of all I don’t hang out with freshman undergrad college students (generally) (not that I have a problem with freshman, it’s just binge drinking is more acceptable to their lifestyle), I hang around adults and professionals. If you’re starting to get out of control, you should probably leave. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is getting out of control, you should probably take them home or to bed. Just because you’ve been drinking doesn’t give you the right to say offensive things to people. You can’t preface offensive comments with “What I’m going to say is offensive.” That just makes it completely known that you’re trying to be an asshole. I can go on. What I’m trying to say is alcohol isn’t an excuse to dish crap. It’s childish if drinking exposes that behavior. This isn’t a reality show where viewers encourage shock and awe.

Sorry for the rant.

Want to hear something else disgusting? I had to drop off a friend late last night and in the long process of doing so I walked into drug den. It was disgusting. A bunch of people aged 30 to 55 were sitting in a bedroom filled with copious amounts of cigarette smoke, alcohol and cocaine. Everyone’s skin was dirty gray. Their conversations lacked all substance. No humour, no interest, no point. Faces were sunk. Sniffs were heard every 20 seconds. I want to say it was amusing, but it really wasn’t. It was really sad. It wasn’t cool at all. I don’t care if they felt like 20 million dollars, it was s room of slime.  I’m really not the type of guy to preach about this type of thing, but I’m starting to notice some serious trends that people are really getting too old for.

Before I leave for Whistler, I’ll write something to the effect of the drug users.

Does anyone feel like sharing their recent episodes involving loose lips or drugs? We’d love to hear it.

I was playing a game of frisbee golf (that’s right!) with my friends and one of the great things about playing frisbee golf, like golf, is the ability to drink while playing. I didn’t drink while playing. I just played. What annoys me isn’t the fact that I couldn’t have some whiskey or beers with them, what annoyed me was because I wasn’t drinking, there is no excuse for my inability to throw the frisbee. Meh. I wasn’t too shabby actually.

So, this whole power napping thing, it has gotten a bit out of hand. I no longer take power naps. Now I sleep for close to 2 hours in the middle of the day. This reminds me of highschool, I’d get home from school at around 5pm after haning out with my friends and crash until about 7:30 or 8pm or 9pm. I remember how not healthy that was. I have my reasons to think that.  I think I’ve been taking these sleeps because I’ve been giving myself a bit of a break. Last week I had so much stuff to do before I went to Las Vegas, this week I’m a little more relaxed and I’m always close to my bed.  I’m totally just being a bum. Now I stay up later, and am sleepier when I wake up early in the morning.

I’ve been talking to a lot of friend of mine and sometimes they reflect on their lives where they go out and party and some of them have just had enough. For those who are in that boat, just take one month. This month has been the easiest and best thing that I’ve done in a long time. It’s hard, but it’s easy. When you start to steer off track, it’s important to keep yourself in check before something bad happens. I’m no preacher and I enjoy being rowdy, that’s why I’m only really talking to the people who are pissed off with their daily lives, yet do this type of junk anyway. If you take off one month, you have all the time you need to reevaluate what it is that you’re doing with your life. All the things that you feel like you’re forced to do, you realize that you really aren’t forced to do them at all. You choose to do them every single time you do.  I suggest you think long and hard about what month you’re going to pick. I suggest you think long and hard about what it is you’re going to do when you’re on your month of sobriety. If it helps you as much as it’s helped me, then it’s necessary.  A couple of my friends had to hit rock bottom or near death before turning around. Sometimes hitting rock bottom or near death isn’t enough and it continues. If you care about yourself, you have to do something… at some point.

Now that I’m on the last stretch before I go back to being the regular me, it’s time to reflect on what I’m accomplishing.

• No longer do I feel that it’s necessary to drink every single night.
• No longer do I crave cigarettes 10 to 15 times a day.
• No longer can I not get through a day without a cup of coffee.
• No longer do I need to have at least 3 drinks in me just to sleep.
• No longer does having fun have to include alcohol.
• No longer am I spending an extra $1000+ per month with nothing to show for it.
• No longer do I wake up hungover.
• No longer do I skip working out cause of hangovers.
• No longer do I think getting obliterated is the only way to consume alcohol.
• No longer do I procrastinate.
• No longer do I cough or run out of breath.
• No longer I get caffeine crashes or headaches.

Now let’s look at the downsides.

• There’s a couple parties that probably would’ve been a little better had I had some drinks in me.
• There’s a couple times that I a cup of coffee or two would’ve seriously enhanced my ability to work.
• I drive more.
• I power nap. What the hell is that about?

That’s pretty much it. I’m not missing out otherwise. When my friends birthdays roll around, it’s always cool to sip back on a couple drinks, but it’s all good.

Let’s get down to the cool stuff though. I can’t freaking wait for the day that this is over. Not so much the day, but the weekend that this is over. I’m going to have a sweet goodbye party then roll over to the west coast, where I get back to work again.